Where Is My Mind
by vamplova21
Summary: AU in episode Hounded, Beth went on the supply run with Glenn and Maggie, meeting and getting taken by Merle.
1. Where Is My Mind

_Disclaimer: I don't own Walking Dead or anything else that's probably in this fic. AU in episode Hounded, what if Beth went on the run for supplies with Maggie and Glenn._

Beth needed to learn how to survive in this new world, or what she told her father and Rick anyway. She needed to learn how to defend herself, walkers weren't going to take it easy on her just because she hated conflict or the thought of hurting someone.

"I can go with Maggie and Glenn on their supply run. Wait, wait let me talk please." She said, holding up her hands when her father started to open his mouth. "Glenn said they were just running up to that country store, they were going to scout it out to see if any walkers were outside, if there are any they'll just come back. I can go with them, just to see. If there are any walkers I won't get out of the truck. Please I need to get out of these walls, even if it's just to wait in the truck…please." She was begging now. Neither Rick nor Hershel looked happy about letting her go, but she did have a point. If it was that risky of a run they would have had more than two people going.

"Beth, honey it's dangerous out there." Hershel tried to reason with his youngest daughter.

"You're letting Maggie go!" She cut him off. "I need to learn dad, what if the walkers break through again? I won't be prepared."

"You stay by the truck the whole time, do you understand?" Rick cut them both off. Rick knew she did need to learn how to defend herself and get used to the idea of having to kill the walkers and; with a little bit of guilt, thought she did need a break from the baby. Beth had been the one, beside Carol, to be taking care of the baby, he knew she was just a teenager and she wasn't her daughter, so it must have been a bit overwhelming to have this responsibility. But who else would take of her, he could barely look at her without seeing Lori and feeling all that guilt and anger bubbling up in his stomach.

It was quiet for a moment.

"Rick are you sure?" Hershel asked, this was his baby, he hated the thought of sending both daughters out there at once.

Rick nodded his head once and walked out of Hershel's cell. Silence filled the cell for a few seconds with the man's departure. Beth sighed loudly and sat down next to her father and after a few seconds her father wrapped one of his arms around her shoulder and squeezed her to him. Beth wrapped both arms around his middle and rested her head in the crook of his neck. To be a little bit honest she was a little scared now that she got her way, but only an idiot wouldn't be.

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you and your sister." He whispered. She didn't say anything, he was speaking the truth and she couldn't promise and say that they would be back and everything be fine. The world now wouldn't let her promise such things, all she could do is hold onto him a little tighter.

"What?!" The yell came from outside in the main cell area.

"I guess Rick told Maggie I'm coming with them."

A few seconds later and Maggie came striding into the cell, her cheeks flushed and her arms crossed over her chest. She opened her mouth to say something when she gets cut off.

"Your sister is going, the decision has been made and there isn't anything to be done." It wasn't Beth but Hershel that spoke first. "I want you to make sure she gets back here."

Maggie frowns and locks eyes with her father for a few seconds before her shoulders drop and she lets out a resigned groan. She runs her hand through her messy hair a few times and nods.

Beth helps Maggie with getting a list of what they need and would most likely be at the little country store, baby items were at the top of the list and anything else that could be useful and could come in handy. She listened to Maggie as they prepared the guns and made sure they had enough ammo.

"I want you to stay by the truck the whole time, if you see a walker get in the truck. Glenn and I can take care of ourselves."

Beth was a little insulted but she knew Maggie was right. After listening to instructions from Rick, Maggie and her father, Beth jumped into the back of the truck. Laying her crowbar across her knees she looked out the window as they left the prison gates and into the unprotected outside. Glenn and Maggie were quietly talking in the front seat, Maggie smiling whenever Glenn glanced from the road and towards her. Beth stared at them for a little while before looking back out the window, now trying to ignore the two. She wished she had someone to talk to like that, someone to lie next to at night. She thought back to when everyone was still at the farm and when Jimmy was still alive, she didn't really like Jimmy all that much but he was comforting and she liked the warm tense feeling she got in her gut when they kissed, though that happened very rarely. But she hated the fact that everyone thought that they were a serious couple, like he had to approve everything she did. They had started dating a few weeks before the outbreak and then everyone had started dying and then coming back alive, and they're relationship had just moved so fast since then.

"Beth?"

"Huh?" Beth came out of her grey thoughts and looked towards Maggie, who looked like it wasn't the first time that she had called her name.

"We're almost at the store. Remember I want you to stay-"

"By the truck. Yeah I know." Beth finished for her. Maggie smiled a little and reached back and squeezed her hand. Beth couldn't help but smile and squeeze her hand back.

Now that they were almost there, Beth got a feeling in her stomach; not quite the butterflies but not quite the stomach flu feeling either. This is what you wanted, she kept repeating that to herself, trying to talk herself out of a panic attack. She tried not to think of the last time she had been in contact with walkers, how she had run and hid with her father and the group had been scattered and Lori had died. Nothing is going to happen; she kept this mantra running around in her head as they pulled up into the store parking lot. Glenn turned the truck off and the surveyed the parking lot, which was clear so far.

"Ok Maggie and I are gonna check inside the store real quick, I want you to sit up here and if we come out and they're biters following us I want you to start the truck and get ready to head back up to the prison ok?"

Beth nods her head and he and Maggie get out, Beth climbs over the middle console and sits in the driver's seat and keeps her eyes on Maggie and Glen. They quietly walk around the corner of the store and Beth can no longer see them. She tries to keep her breathing even and takes quick glances around the parking lot, starting to get scared now that she's by herself. After a few minutes Maggie and Glenn appear at the front of store and open the door.

"All clear." She smiles at Beth, and Beth lets out a sigh of relief. "Glenn and I are gonna star grabbing stuff, keep a look out ok?" Beth nods and Maggie goes back into the store. Beth scans the parking lot and surrounding area when she think she see something out the corner of her eye. She sits up a little straighter and scans the area again, it was by a care a few spots down from theirs. Frowning she gets out of the truck and pulled out her crowbar, if it was a walker, it would only be one and she could take it. Crouching a little she gets closer to the car and quickly moves around the car so she can see. Nothing is there. She laughs a little and puts her hand over her beating heart that really scared her. After a quick look around the whole area to make sure there isn't anything she heads back to the car and stops and lets out a quick gasp.

"What the hell Beth!? I told you to stay in the truck, Jesus what were you doing?" Maggie harshly whispers to her.

"Sorry, I'm really sorry I thought I saw something." Beth defends herself. Maggie shakes her head angrily and motions to the shopping cart of item she has brought out with her.

"Can you load these up real quick then? Glenn and I will only be another couple minutes and then we'll head back." Beth nods and starts stacking the item in the back of the truck while Maggie returns inside the store. Beth checks out the haul as she puts it away, mostly it's baby items and feminine items. She hears Maggie coming up behind her and grabs the box of tampons and holds it up in the air by her shoulder.

"I don't think I'd ever say this but I've missed tampons."

She feels something cool and hard come up around her neck. She freezes and looks down at the blade that is pressed against her venerable neck. The blade is attached to what looks like a man's arm. She's roughly pushed against a hard body and a hand is put roughly over her mouth.

"Well look what I got here." A raspy voice says, his hot breath arming the skin on the side of her neck. "What's a pretty lookin' girl like you doin' out here?" As soon as he says it, Beth hears gasps behind her and the man quickly turns them around so Beth is facing Glenn and Maggie. Maggie and Glenn both have their guns raised, shopping carts full of supplies forgotten.

"Chinaman didn't think I'd be seein' you again." Glenn has gone pale and is breathing fast, his chest moving with the rapid breathes.

"Merle…we tried…we came back for you. Daryl, Rick, T-Dog and I. We came back to Atlanta for you but you were already gone." Glenn is stumbling over his words, looking at the man holding Beth. Beth's eyes have slowly filled with tears through the exchange. The man's knife has been pushed against her neck so sharply she's forced to push her head back till it's pushing against the man's chest.

"Please just let Beth go." This time it's Maggie that spoke. She's panicking inside, Beth was supposed to be looking out for the dead, and they had forgotten that the living could be much much worst. And by the sound of things this was Daryl's brother Merle, Glenn had told Maggie all that had happened in Atlanta, and she just knew by the look in Merle's eyes, he didn't believe in forgive and forget.

"You and Officer Friendly left me up there ta die! I don't wanna hear you tryin' to explain yerself." Beth started to whimper as soon as he started raising his voice, her tears finally spilling over and onto the hand covering her mouth. Merle sighed as he felt the girl's tears fall on his hand, damn girl could looked barely over sixteen and as think as a twig. And by the look on Glenn and the other girl's face she must have been something special to them, he could definitely use to get what he wanted.

"You know where my brother is?"

"He's with us, let Beth go and we'll tell him you're here."

"You think I'm some idiot? No, we're gonna go for a ride. Chinaman, you and the woman throw the guns on the ground and get in the truck. Now!" He yelled when they stood still. Maggie and Glenn dropped their guns on the ground and got into the truck. Merle maneuvered Beth and him until he could reach down and grab the guns off the ground, tucking them into the back of his jeans. He headed to the truck and slipped his arm under Beth's legs and slid into the backseat of the truck, rearranging Beth till she was on his lap, his knife resting just below her collarbone.

"Don't worry sugar ol' Merle's gonna take good care of you."

_AN: So yeah I ship Beth/Merle like no other, and thought I'd give it a shot with my own fic._


	2. On The Road

_Disclaimer: I don't own the Walking Dead or any of the characters._

Beth's heart pounded in her chest, the seriousness of the situation not lost on her. Beth liked to believe that there was good in everyone and she tended to avoid conflict but that didn't mean she was stupid, she knew they were in a bad situation. She could tell that there was bad blood between Merle and Glenn, and knew from the exchange between them earlier that Merle had a brother in the group, but neither of them had mentioned a name.

"Start 'er up and get on the road headin' south." Merle's voice was rough in the quiet of the truck. Glenn paused and turned towards the backseat. "Uh-uh, I ain't listenin' to what ya gotta say. You're under my mercy now, and I got yer little girly back here with me, so unless you want her to stay in one piece, yer gonna do exactly as I say and I said get on the god damn road." His knife arm pressed harder into Beth's collar bone as he finished, Beth eliciting a cry.

Glenn's face twisted into a mix between anger and anguish, Maggie and Beth were his responsibility on this run and he had let them down. Now they were being forced against their will to go somewhere, unarmed and at the mercy of a racist redneck. Beth's cry was enough to convince Glenn to turn in his seat and start up the truck, trying his best to ignore Maggie's eyes that were starting to fill with tears.

Merle's knife let up the pressure on Beth as soon as they were on the road, satisfied that there wasn't going to be any other problems.

"So how'd a sweet thang like you end up with the Asian kid?" Beth was a little unsure of who he was talking to. She looked towards Maggie who was leaning against the passenger seat; arms tightly crossed against her chest, her face was twisted up into a scowl and it looked like she was trying to fight the crying which she usually did when she was angry enough. Beth looked over her shoulder at him to see who was talking to and he was looking expectantly at her, one of his eyebrows cocked up and an amused look on his face.

"I..I..him and Maggie..I don't have…we're not together." Beth stuttered out, too nervous to do much else face to face with him. This close to him she finally got a good look at him and was a bit surprised that wasn't what she pictured him to be. For some reason he didn't look like the type to be taking teenage girls hostage with a knife against their throat. He looked; to her anyway, like the men that would bring their horses and other livestock to her father when she was growing up, broad shoulders, the close cropped hair, and the face that looked like it would be more comfortable in the outdoors than in a cubicle.

At her response Merle amused look faded, his face looking contemplative as his gaze wandered on Beth's face and dipping a littler lower. Face turning red, Beth faced the front but she could still feel his eyes on her.

"That's none of your business and you can keep your eyes off of her!" Maggie exploded from the front seat, body twisted so she could look past Beth towards Merle. "You even think about touching her and I will find a way to feed your ass to the walkers piece by piece."

Until then Beth had been perched awkwardly on one of Merle's knee, as far away as his knife would let her go, his free hand holding onto her hip. At Maggie's outburst Merle's hand left her hip and reached across her stomach and dragged her back till she was resting against his chest, he head forced onto his shoulder.

"Looks to me like I'm touchin' her," His hand on her stomach started to move, slowly rubbing circles into her stomach. "You don't like it, don't watch."

Beth's throat seemed to close at his actions, making it heart to breathe. His hand was warm on her stomach, the heat from it seeping through her worn t-shirt and onto her skin. Beth didn't know what to do, no one had ever her touched like this. Sure, she had fooled around with Jimmy, nothing was usually touched under shoulders though, much to Jimmy's disappointment. The few times Jimmy touched her was with shaky fingers, nervous that they would be caught, but with Merle his fingers were firm and sure in their touch.

"Get your hands off of her!" Maggie was seeing red, first this bastard put a knife against her sister's neck, kidnapped them and was taking them god knows where and then he had the nerve to start asking if Glenn was dating her. She looked over at Glenn, other than his jaw locked and his hands having a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel, it didn't seem like he was going to do anything. She couldn't take it anymore and had to say something, and now this disgusting man was putting his hands on her baby sister and staring at her, egging her on. Maggie twisted and got up till she was crouched in the front seat, preparing to launch herself at Merle, his knife be damned. Just as quick Merle had his knife pointed in her direction, just waiting till she made her move.

"Please stop! Everyone just calm down! We don't need to be fighting."

Both turned towards Beth, a little surprised at her words. Beth didn't want anyone to get hurt, Maggie especially, and Merle only really only started touching her when Maggie had yelled not to…and it wasn't bad if she if she thought about it and she really didn't want to.

"Maggie's my older sister, she doesn't want me hurt…in any way." Merle's knife didn't move, Maggie still crouched in her seat as well. Beth needed Merle to relax otherwise there was no way Maggie would back down as well. "You have a brother right? You and Glenn said something about your brother being in our group. I bet you miss him a lot, that you would do anything to make sure he was safe right? Maggie is the same way…she's my big sister and I don't want her hurt."

Maggie was looking at her like she was crazy, but what other choice did she have? She couldn't let things escalate and Maggie get hurt or killed. She reached out her hand till it was touching the bend of his amputated arm, sliding her hand till it reached the cold metal of his knife contraption. She turned her head to the side so she was facing him, close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off of him, from her head to her toes she could feel the warmth of him. She slowly rubbed circles into where the metal met his skin, repeating the actions he had done only a minute ago.

"Tell her ta calm down. I ain't gonna ravish ya in the backseat so she can get that stick outta her ass."

Maggie hesitated for a few second before sitting back down, sending glares at Merle before she turned to face the front. Beth paused her movements of her hands when he moved his knife hand to lay atop her thighs, pushing his arm at her to get her rubbing his hand again. His arm that had been wrapped around her stomach moved back to the relaxed grip on her hip, though this time his index finger rubbed small designs into her hip bone.

Merle's mind was racing, he knew he'd get the location of his brother out of one of the three of them. He had already guessed that he'd have to rough 'em up a little bit to get it but the sweet thing in his arms had him second guessing his plans, he'd found their weakest link. Maybe if he could make it look like her sister and Glenn were in danger she'd spill the info. A grin spread across his face, maybe he could have some fun while he was at it, it'd been a long time since he'd willingly been touched by a woman.

_AN: Yay another chapter! For the first couple days I didn't get any alerts about your reviews but I finally got them and I'm glad you liked it so far. Reviews would be great and sorry it's a little short._


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